In Spite
by AemiliaeHistoriam
Summary: This is currently the worst possible time to fall in love with your neighbor: Right after you've accidentally knocked them over onto the sidewalk and they're bleeding. Yeah. That's pretty much the best time to start a relationship. RoBul. Not vampires. :P Modern AU. Sister fic to That's What My World is Made of. Contains Eating Disorders.
1. Prologue

**I've really been wanting to start this fic since...well...A long time XD I love RoBul and I personally love my portrayals of them if I can say so myself XD **

** This has...not-so-well thought-out sensitive content, including eating disorders and the viewing of supernatural beings and such. It may also be my most depressing fic by a longshot. THIS IS YOUR WARNING! HEED IF NECESSARY!**

** Anyways, I don't think that will be a problem for most. XD Onto the title lecture! **

** My favorite ESC Bulgaria entry has always been Na Inat by Poli Genova. Seriously, go check it out if you haven't already. The song is inspirational and it's surprising I didn't get the idea for this fanfic from the song. What's even more surprising - to me at least - is that I saw the translation after I had decided my take on Bulgaria. Guess what? It fit PERFECTLY. No joke. **

** Anyways, enough chat. This is dedicated to all the disabled, insecure people in this world. God bless you. **

** DISCLAIMER: I do not own airports or Hetalia or this quote. Sorry. Deal with it already XD**

_But yes, I know, I will find strength in me_

_Even to reach the sky_

_No matter what, No matter what_

_Oh, I know the power will be with me_

_To do what I can do. _

\- "Na Inat" by Poli Genova.

_I had been on an airplane before. We never traveled unless it had to do with placing me in a new hospital - and even then we didn't go by airplane. Airplanes aren't safe for me. Not only do airplane rides make my ears pop, but that irrational fear of riding in a moving vehicle takes over the calm section of my brain._

_ But I can't, you can't, I don't think anyone can get to America without taking a plane - unless you want to swim. The only other way is by boat and I'm certainly not keen on being tossed by waves. No thank you._

_ The choices weren't that hard to sort out if you're a smart individual that values their life. _

_ We took the plane. _

_ I started to regret my decision when I found myself in the crowded airport luggage parking lot with my parents and tons of people much too close for comfort - jostling me, sending our suitcases flying away at lighting speed. _

_ The airplanes themselves were fine, though my ears popped like kettle-corn - but this chaos? No, I'd almost rather travel by boat._

_ The people of this country seemed cold and judgmental, which didn't help me feel any more comforted with the concept of coming here. _

_ Yes, I admit in all honesty: An androgynous, severely emaciated young adult in a crowded airport must've been a strange sight to behold. But feeling the stares of the passersby from the back of my neck was horribly unnerving._

_ "Nikola," My aunt Sofiya whispered from next to me. She hardly ever called me by my name, and when she did I knew something was very wrong. The last time she used it...Never mind._

_ Even though I wasn't looking at her, I knew that startled look she gets when she doesn't know what to do; Her brown eyes widen and her soft black curls seem to droop. I knew she was wearing that expression right now, maybe even ten times worse than usual. I wasn't the only one who was distraught by the new country. Of course I wasn't. She didn't want to move. _

_ "Yes?" I asked quietly._

_ She placed her soft hands on my narrow shoulders and squeezed lightly. "Be strong."_

_ It's hard to grasp the concept "strong" if you're me. If you've been living with life-affecting disorder - one that leaves you hungry, eternally useless, and - in other words - absolutely helpless to what could come speeding towards you - "strong" is not in your vocabulary. _

_ I'm eighteen, going on nineteen. Eighteen-year-olds should be able to enjoy their last years of childhood without disability getting in the way. I didn't sign on to live in this hell._

_ No, I'm sorry, but I am not strong, and I never will be. _

_ A little while later, I realized we had been standing on the same blue patch of pavement for a while now. Uncle Borislav was staring intently into the distance, brows furled in deep thought. He was a man of action - someone always on the move and ready to try new things...Though he mostly was a sports fanatic. I, on the other hand, would rather shrink under the covers of my bed and read a good book than watch or play sports. _

_ "W-What are we waiting for?" I asked tentatively. _

_ "The Karpusi family is coming to pick us up." My uncle responded, his eyes unmoving. For once he looked serious, unlike the man I'd usually seen back in Bulgaria._

_ We had already moved all of our stuff to our new house with their help, so of course this was going to happen. I felt stupid thinking that we were gonna get "home" without them. _

_ Mrs. Karpusi is a friend of my aunt's, a high-school teacher as well as a single mother, I sense that I can respect her even though I've never met her. I'd heard lots about her from her son, Herakles - the boy that I pen pal with. Herakles said she was strict, with no hints of kindness to most people - but that she had a fondness for certain children. She'd stayed strong. Now, since Herakles was going into his senior year, she could take a break to manage her own business and teaching job. _

_ Though I'd never met either of them, the family's kindness was too good to be true. Herakles had helped me with my English (though he said I barely needed it) and cheered me up with photos of his pet cats. In return, I helped him with his homework and sent him pictures of the paradise called nature._

_ It was a lasting friendship, though very strange and distant._

_ "Hello!" a female voice shouted from a few feet away, interrupting my thoughts. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I immediately straightened and tried to look as proper as possible - hard since I probably looked like a skeleton with skin to anyone else. _

_ I suppose this was her - Mrs. Eleftheria Karpusi. _

_ Her gaze intimidated me - the way her green eyes seemed to review me like the disgusting person I was. I suddenly wasn't looking forward to meeting my pen-pal and moving next door to this woman. I hoped she was kind to me - not like my old neighbors. I didn't want to be judged anymore. If America was the land of opportunity and freedom, didn't I have the right to live my life free from this burden? _

_ Behind her, a tall, teenaged boy a bit younger than me, waved at me. By the looks of it, that was Herakles. He knew me, but I barely recognized him. I felt guilty about that but he had changed during the two years he didn't send me pictures. Since two years, he had grown more muscular - something which I envied since I barely even had skin. His wild hair had grown a longer, falling in the soft waves of a chocolate fountain. _

_ A calico kitten rested peacefully in his arms, undisturbed by the loud noises of the crowds. It looked like the cat from one of the photos from two years ago - or maybe one of the offspring. Was it even allowed in this type of public area? I hope he had checked._

_ I'm positive that I hadn't changed: same thin, glossy, black hair, same pale skin and sharp cheekbones. Same creepy black eyes. And I was probably as short and skinny as I was two years ago - maybe even more so. _

_ Mrs. Karpusi hugged my guardians and asked them about their health, which made me feel slightly offended. Talking about "health" seems to mock me. People don't know health until they have health problems. But I didn't mind as much as I usually do. My parents...They were smiling. Ever since the incident, it seems like they haven't smiled. It felt good to see them happy again. _

_ But then those hawk eyes turned to me and she floated over to me, her chandelier earrings sparkling. "Is this Nikola?" _

_ I shook, or at least I felt like I was shaking. "Yes, ma'am..."_

_ "You're eighteen?"_

_ Was this how people greeted each other in America? "Y-yes..."_

_ She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at that. "You're awfully short." _

_ I stared down at my sneakers and shuffled my feet. Most short people hate being short, but this was different. I was born born short and I'd die short. I hated it. It didn't help that I was skinny too._

_ "Mom!" Herakles voice was impressively deep and smooth, the direct opposite of my own. "You're embarrassing him!"_

_ The intensity immediately left her eyes and she suddenly seemed like a normal mom. "I apologize for my actions." She laughed. "Even at this age, I am rather...impulsive."_

_ And just like that, she was all smiles and laughs, as if someone had flipped the "serious" switch to "happy". Was I the who had put her in such a good mood? _

_ Me? _

**This is one of the extremely rare Nikola POVs in this fic. The rest is all Dimitri XD **

** Anyways, Nikola is one of my favorite characters to write about. A detailed description will show up in chapter...three I think. He's adorable, trust me. :3 **

** This is my first fic I'm asking for serious nit-picking. I'd really appreciate reviews on how I can improve. :D**

** See ya on the next chappy! :D**


	2. My URL: King Antisocial

**I had no inspirations for this. None. I was going to hold it off for a year or more. Then...Oh wait, what's this. -looks on computer-. O-o Oh my goodness, it's Bulgaria's 2016 Eurovision entry. BOOM! Inspiration. It's so gorgeous and so perfect for what I'm planning here. Go look it up.**

** Well here's Dimitri for the chappy.**

I'm not a weirdo, I swear I'm perfectly normal, but for once in the seventeen years of my life, I started to loathe summer break. Yes, I know, kill me. I'm turning against all of teenaged-manity, but you guys don't have the entire story. Unlike you people who actually have profitable interests in life, I had nothing to do, no one was home...Also, I have no friends. That probably doesn't help.

So there I was, only several weeks into summer break, sitting on my ass while scrolling through Youtube. Nobody was home, my mom teaching classes and my brother at summer camp, and I couldn't just walk across to the neighbors and ask to water their plants. I wasn't _that_ bored.

But maybe human interaction was for the best. I'd wake up every morning, maybe closer to afternoon than morning, and bath my senses in...Nothing. Not my mom clopping around in her ridiculous high heels, not the smell of fresh coffee wafting from the kitchen, not even the sound of my annoying-ass, little brother Andrei shouting at me to wake up and play video games with him. It might have been nice to any other person with siblings, but for the awkward extrovert with no social life the silence was deafening.

The cons of going out still outweigh the pros. The majority of the people in walking distance were either days away from the grave or ten-year-olds with no life other than bullying Andrei and torturing animals. And then there's Mrs. Karpusi, who's possibly the most intimidating fifty-year-old woman in existence. She lives about five seconds away. I can literally walk ten steps from my house and peer into her window. I don't do that, I swear. I'm not that weird. She's the weirdo. Plus she'd kill me if she caught me stalking here.

Unfortunately for me, she's best friends with my mother and comes over every night we're not busy, FML(You might have thought I'd be used to her by now...Well no.) \

The woman has a son my age but we aren't exactly friends. Sure, I played an occasional video game with him, but that only happened when my mom needs someone to _"babysit"_ me, when I'm _stuck there _against my will. Mrs. Karpusi was persistent enough about the whole thing, not realizing that was only making things worse. Besides, Herakles had plenty of friends already, probably more than I could ever make in a lifetime. He didn't need me fangirling at his doorstep too.

Yep, I was a lonely guy and it honestly didn't matter that _I_ was the one too lazy to get off my ass and initiate the friendship.

Then somthing super out of character for me happened. If I remember correctly, August 9th, 2013, the coolest day we had experienced in months. My mom had left already to teach her summer chemistry classes and Andrei was at sleep-away camp. I was left with my bored mind and an even more boring book on Dimitri Mendeleev. I tried reading it. I really did, but the sun streaming through the window was just...So nice. And warm. Not annoying hot like it usually was.

Studying could wait. Plus I never got enough exercise anyways. Mom wouldn't mind if I took a short fifteen to thirty minute walk. She always complained about my lack of getting up to do things.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You guys came here for a story that you could fangirl over. Right. Let me get to that. Warning and disclaimer: I am not Prince Charming. In fact, I'm about as cringe-worthy as someone awkwardly asking out their childhood crush to the eighth-grade dance. Yeah, that's pretty cringe-worthy, even for me. I don't have the ability to sugarcoat stories to make them sappy and cute. GET READY FOR DARK AND GRITTY PEOPLE. Keep this in mind if you dare to proceed.

(Aaaannndddd Nikola just hit me.)

**This is short, I know, but I need this out so I'll want to finish it XD See you guys soon :3**

** Also, if you guys read all of my shit, I like talking about the Karpusi's a lot XD **


	3. The Pixie-Dust Seducer

**Hello! It's me! I've been wonderi...Okay, I'll stop XD **

** Someone put this fic on a fic rec on Tumblr. For whatever reason, I'm honored. Thank you so much for taking the time to put that up there. (That was a fucking year ago. They probably won't see this DX)**

** Also, someone on Youtube made a pitched down version of "If Love Was a Crime" and I almost cried with happiness. I was hoping someone would make one...Also, APH Bulgaria is the cover art, so I just... YES! :D I'm so happy right now. GO BULGARIA! -waves Bulgarian flag in front of TV-**

** Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America, Hetalia, or awkward little Romanians. **

I'm going to say this again. I'm not a weirdo, I swear. I'm not a serial murderer, I don't kill midgets for fun. That's not my kind of thing. No, I did _not_ just kill my hot new neighbor by walking into him. I didn't even know I_ had_ a new neighbor! And I'm not that strong! My baby brother, he's twelve, can beat me at arm wrestling! Please don't take me to court! I just used my entire allowance on a new computer, I can't go to prison now!

...I guess I should explain myself before someone searches my room for vibranium shields or arrows ***** or something. I don't have any of those, at least not any that I could kill someone with. Just replicas and the stuff I used to do archery practice with...I guess this isn't helping my chase.

ANYWAYS. Onto my defense/story.

So I'm walking down the street, right? Normal day, taking a walk, getting some exercise, etc. (Okay, okay. I never exercise. This was definitely _not_ normal, I know. Just work with me here.) I'm belting the Avengers theme song as loud as I can, pretending I'm the ruler of the world and ignoring the glares I receive from the neighbors passing by. Typical, normal day. I'm just walking, right? Walking down the street, minding my own damn business, when I felt a collision.

I look down, okay? Just looking down to see what I hit like a sensible, normal person. I wasn't expecting to see anything _this _weird. There's a tiny, frail, dark-haired, fairly pale kid, about 5'4" or so, (I'm not good at math, so don't quote me on that), face-planted at my feet against the sidewalk. I'm not joking. This is not a murderer's accuse: _"I'm sorry, your honor! I just looked down and the guy had a knife in his head and my hands were covered in blood." _

If I may be honest, the whole thing was funny. Really funny. (I'm not a sadist I swear!) I'm one of those people who thinks people failing is hilarious. Trip and break your neck? I'll laugh my head off before calling the hospital. Yep, I'm one of _those_ freaks of nature. And this image would've been the perfect meme! All I'd have to do was take a picture and float some words above his body, post it to instagram or something, which was exactly what I would've done if he was showing signs of life...And he wasn't.

He just lay there, not moving, not breathing, nothing. As far as I know, I had knocked him out with my own two hands. How? I have no idea. It wasn't like my abs were bricks or something. I don't even have abs! I don't even exercise! Please! I'm just an anti-social kid who never goes outside! He must have slipped or something, 'cause there's no way in hell I did that.

What the hell was I supposed to do in a situation like this? If I called for help, everyone would assume _I_ did this...Well, I mean I did, but not purposely! My heart's not that dark! I CAN'T GO TO PRISON NOW! I STILL HAVE TO GET THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL!

Honestly I was, and still am, the clumsiest person ever. I really needed to stop closing my eyes when I sang or I'd be road kill the next time I stepped on the pavement. How did I not die while I was walking to school or something? HOW DO I HAVE A DRIVER'S LISCENSE?!

Of course the genius I was back then thought it'd be a good idea to drag the guy across the road before he started bleeding heavily/dying. Why? I don't know. I'm dumbstruck in love, I guess, what can I tell you?

Honestly, it'd be surprising if he _hadn't_ broken something. That pavement was hell on earth. Once young kid me fell on that exact pavement and needed an eye patch to stop all of the blood. ******

So I follow my instincts: Hook my arms under his armpits and drag him to some grass until he recovers...At least that's what I was trying to do.

Number one, I am not strong. This kid was lighter than most, about the weight of my baby brother, but that didn't help unfit! Me do any better at carrying him.

Two. He started to wake up as soon as I grabbed hold of him.

Three. If you think I didn't violate the kid badly by touching his arms, you're wrong. It's nice you have faith in me, but you should lose that right now. You'll be disappointed later. But then again, personal space shouldn't have been a big issue. The kid could have been dead! Damn personal space to hell! I didn't think that would matter in this situation!

Apparently not. I'm proud to say I got a fist in the face. A weak fist, but the initial shock startled me enough to drop the kid and grab my nose. He fell onto the grass, thankfully, but landed on his arm. Dammit. Why did I have to experience death in this way?

The kid struggled to his feet, muttering...something...in a strange language, non-English language under his breath. I noticed the braces around his ankles. (If I could feel any worse at this point...) He seemed in okay condition, little blood and some small scrapes across his_ incredibly_ pale elbows and forehead. That kid could _not _afford to lose any more blood in his body, or he'd be snow white.

Haha, Snow White. He'd fit the part. Straight black/brown hair covered part of face, the weirdest, though not unappreciated, contrast I had ever seen. As he brushed his hair back behind his ears, I had a clear view of his dark blue eyes, deceptively plain at first glance but, weirdly, the color of the sky on the starriest summer nights. And I saw the stars, I saw constellations in those eyes, like a fairy flying through fireworks...Dammit, I said this wasn't going to be sappy. I'm not going to go off on a tangent now.

"Are you okay...?" I managed, avoiding any sort of eye contact or shit. _Goddammit, do not look at his face, look at his hands or something...Dammit he has nice hands. How about ankles or feet or...Nope. Maybe you should have ran away when you had the chance. UGH! Fuck my life!_

"Dammit! I'm okay, I swear! I'm fine..." He winced as he attempted to put pressure on his ankles. "I'm so sorry. Goddammit..."

Hey! Someone who's not related to me with a worse mouth than mine! My mom will be pleased...Or not. Having my cousin Lovino around for one family reunion is enough cursing for a year.

"Are you sure...? You're bleeding..." I don't know why I was making such a big fuss. Usually I'd just be like, "Sorry. It won't happen again. Bye." and get out of there like hell froze over, but _noooo_, not today.

I think I can blame this entire series of events on this guy's face. He was _so freaking cute, _and it was definitely getting to me...Or maybe it was the heat. Yep, the heat was definitely getting to me. Kids, take this as a lesson: Don't go outside if you don't have to. (Nikola just shot me a look, so don't listen to that advice.)

Anyways, I thought this guy was magically seducing me with...Pixie dust or something. Jeez, that sounds like something Arthur Kirkland would say...Yay. I'm turning into a British posh kid.

Hot, pixie-dust seducer waves me off, definitely looking closer to being in pain than wanting to bang...Except those two things are pretty close...Dammit, I need to stop this train of thought. He was definitely _not _trying to seduce me. For goodness' sake, he had to be at most fifteen, maybe younger. That would be weird.

Okay, back to what the dude was going to say, before my mind got creepy: "I'm fine. I'm okay. I can deal with this myself. It was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going." The left side of his mouth quirked a little. "Don't worry about it."

_ Good mother of God, he has dimples. And that accent... What was that? I've heard it before, but where? None of the immigrant kids at school sounded like that and the teachers didn't have strong enough accents to tell. I know my priest from a trillion years ago had an accent like that, but I'd never cared about where he was from...UNTIL NOW, DAMMIT. _

Apparently my mouth had been hanging open the entire time, saying: "Uhhhhhhhhhh."

"DIMITRI, PUT YOUR TONGUE BACK IN YOUR GODFORSAKEN MOUTH AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF! MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION FOR ONCE."

She's standing on her perfectly white-washed front porch, yelling at from across the street. Goddammit, Mrs. Karpusi. Honestly, she's always in my business, even at school when I'm doing absolutely nothing wrong. It's like she stalks me around town or something.

Needless to say, I groaned like hell when she barged into a conversation I could have _totally handled myself. Yeah, totally_. I'm such a socialite. I have all the friends, totes. Can't you see my sea of facebook requests from strangers? I'm not lonely. Not at all.

Mrs. Karpusi crosses the street, her high heels clacking annoyingly on the pavement, still yelling. Well, it was either more yelling from her, or putting a name to the hot guy's face.

I went for the latter.

"Hi." I said as un-awkwardly as I could. "I'm Dimitri. I live across the street from Mrs. Karpusi." _Was I supposed to put out a hand or not? Wave? Was I supposed to talk about my family, or how old I was? Shit. Where were Mom's lectures on manners when I needed them?_

Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice my social ineptness. He's still smiling, bright and sunny and adorable, even though I possibly broke his arm. Could this guy get any calmer? "It's nice to meet you Dimitri. I'm Nikola. I just arrived from Bulgaria."

_Oh._

"That's...Nice..." I said, not exactly knowing how to respond to that. "I heard it's...nice and...hot there. Yeah, super hot."

Oh my God, what was I doing?! No one had ever told me that. I couldn't pick out Bulgaria in a map of Europe, much less tell you the climate and terrain. Honestly, I gave zero fucks about geography...Until now. _Dammit, where was Bulgaria?! _

Mrs. Karpusi, who'd finally made it from across the street, saved us from an awkward silence. "Nikola is moving in next door, so you'll be seeing a lot of him. Maybe you kids can all hang out sometime over the summer, but if you don't manage, I'm sure you'll see each other in class."

_Wait, what? _

"Wait, how old are you?!" I asked him, trying not to sound like one of those assholes who second-guesses ages. (Oh wait, I guess I was one of those people.) He had to be a freshman. Was he in extra EXTRA gifted classes or something?..._Wait, that didn't make any sense. He just showed up here. They wouldn't do that. He probably didn't even speak great English. _Did Mrs. Karpusi think I got held back again? To Freshman year?! I'm not _that_ dumb.

Nikola heaved a dramatic sigh of annoyance, as if he got asked that a lot. (I'm not at all surprised. Lol.) "I'm eighteen. My birthday was in July." *******

_Goddammit_. Life always found a way to point out how clueless I was.

I must have been making a face, 'cause Mrs. Karpusi was glaring at me, not that that wasn't the norm. She elbowed a very timid looking Nikola, as if to bug him to keep talking to me. The gesture would've been sweet if she didn't hate me. She probably just wanted Nikola to make some friends or something...Or maybe she was in the "seduce idiot Romanian" plan, using Nikola as her pawn, poor kid...uh, adult kid. I needed to get out of there. Quick. Before the awkwardness got even worse.

"So h-how do you know Mrs. Karpu..." Nikola started.

"Cool, okay." I interrupted. "Yeah. Nice meeting you. I gotta go now. Hope you have a really nice day. See ya." Then I ran off.

I'm sure Mrs. Karpusi yelled curses at me while I very blatantly avoided Nikola from Bulgaria. I'm sure she was griping about how misbehaved I was and how she was gonna tell my mom when she got home. Yeah, I'd have no excuse, but my mom knows I'm awkward. She won't hold it against me.

There was one problem though:

_ Now pixie-dust dude knows I'm an asshole._

*** Sebastian Stan, who's in Captain America, is Romanian. I've always liked the idea of Dimitri being a super fan of Bucky Barnes and Captain America ('cause I am :P). (Also, Winter Soldier hasn't come out yet in this universe XD oops.) And then with the arrows, I was just thinking of Hawkeye XD Don't mind me. Imma geek. **

**By the way, I haven't seen Civil War yet, so don't spoil me. **

**** This happened to me when I was seven or eight or around there. I'm not joking. I still have to scar to prove it. I'm almost fifteen. **

*****Constitution of Bulgaria, July 13, 1991 according to wikipedia. It fits zodiac wise, so yeah. GO CANCERS! (Not the sickness. The zodiac sign.)**

** This got really goofy and weird. I'm sorry. I was trying to get it out by the Eurovision grand final. XD **

** I got a guest review! Thank you, guest! You're right, there isn't enough RoBul out there. The stuff that is out there is _excellent_ though. I hope I'm living up to the standard. XD **

** ...Did I mention it was August 2013? **


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